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so my first date with the woman i intend to marry was in a historic graveyard, and shes very goth, and im not. i LOVE the gothic culture and identify with it in every way save for the clothing as i happen to be a redhead and tan well and well, i have crappy taste in clothes, lol, so i cant find anything that makes me look right, anyway, do you think it would be romantic for me to propose to her in the place we had our first date? i would like that alot and have often thought about it but im afraid she might not have the same feeling towards it i do, plus i imagine it might not go over so well with her folks if they found out i proposed to her in a graveyard, but i think it would be very romantic if i did it right, you know, roses and wine,full moonlight, among the graveyard trees, maybe candlelight( if the security isnt as up to par as it used to not be back then) maybe a matching set of blood vial necklaces as a present and some remeniscing beforehand about our first date and how she captured my heart and how since shes managed to put up with my crap without strangling me, lol, you know romantic stuff. what do you guys think, think the average goth chick would like to be proposed to like that?
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Jacksonville
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Re: Romantic Question....
Thu, September 27, 2007 - 3:13 PMI think going to the trouble to propose on the spot of your first date, regardless of where that was, would earn you a lot of brownie points. If it would freak her family you guys could always just say you proposed in a beautiful park. ;)
Good luck!
Regards,
Alex, goth chick married to a Led Zepplein fan (it can work, I promise)
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Re: Romantic Question....
Thu, September 27, 2007 - 3:30 PMClothes don't make the goth, although some goths do make the clothes.
Don't force the proposal. The proposal should govern where it's made, not vice versa.
Hell, these days the very fact that a guy is committing is romantic enough.
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Re: Romantic Question....
Thu, September 27, 2007 - 7:16 PMI think its a lovely sentiment, and the romance you've associated with that place and time, brings things full circle. Who cares what the folks think...I would think that if they know their daughter, they would understand, and as for yours, well, they should come to love and understand your bride. As for security, I would think that some communication beforehand with the appropriate people in charge would do wonders...let them know what your intentions are, I'm sure it would melt their hearts, and some accommodations could be made for your (plural) special moment. -
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Re: Romantic Question....
Fri, September 28, 2007 - 7:44 AMI believe it's very romantic indeed, and I would be delighted if my not-really-goth boyfriend would go to all that "trouble" to make me happy.
But you say "im afraid she might not have the same feeling towards it i do". Why is that? Is it because of what her parents/friends/whoever would think, or do you believe she would like it another way? -
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Re: Romantic Question....
Fri, September 28, 2007 - 11:55 AMhmm, well, i think she would LIKE it, but im not sure she would LOVE it, does that make sense? it has to be special, and prefferrably perfect but im just shooting for ballpark here, being only a brute male.Still, if i could, id like to make it something so beautiful and so personal and sincere that she can look back in our old age and smile when she thinks of how i proposed to her, i want it to be something that stirs her heart for years to come, something that reflects how special she is to me, which is harder than you might think. i could conquer nations and it still wouldnt be enough tribute.
It really has little to do with how others think about it, rather its how others will look at HER when/if she tells them, i want her to be proud of it and able to brag about how her man proposed to her, i want everyone around her to know that HER man would go to the brink of hell itself for her and for it to be stuinningly obvious that it is utterly sincere, because i know, people will try to drag it down, people will try to crush something beautiful because we have something they dont, we're both willing to sacrifice everything for the other, and so few marriages work out these days, i dont want there to be ANY doubt that I really mean i love her with all my heart. I dont want ANYONE to be ABLE to cast aspersions , so i want my proposal to be perfectly US. you know? something no one else could conceive of or would be willing to do (hmmm, yeah, this is sounding better and better,) except someone that knew her inside and out and loved her more than his own ego or pride or anything else, which for me isnt that hard, SHE is what makes me proud to be the man i am. -
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Re: Romantic Question....
Fri, September 28, 2007 - 12:14 PMWell, it seems you only have problems with it being in a cemetery then. So... are there stunning old buildings/masions that you can do tours in/amazing natural places near you that you can move it to...something that creates that feeling of age and beauty and mystery? -
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Re: Romantic Question....
Fri, September 28, 2007 - 12:20 PMActually, i writing this last post, i got to thinking maybe the opinions of others aint such a bad thing, if its special to HER , then together we should be able to weather the negativity, besides, i dont think she cares that much about what other people think, and its supposed to be FOR HER, so i may just go with the original date place after all. it was special to me and to her, and so very unique to both of us, its probably the best place i could have thought of for a first date, so i might just go with it after all. -
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Re: Romantic Question....
Fri, September 28, 2007 - 12:48 PMyeah, lol, sometimes just writing it down in the form of a question is all it takes to formulate the answer, it has to percolate a bit first though, lol. i think its a guy thing, hell thats my story and im sticking to it.
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Re: Romantic Question....
Fri, September 28, 2007 - 12:58 PMwell, i think much of it is about the presentation and the effort you put into making it special. i think where you had your first date would be a very romantic spot to propose. Of course, my beloved and I were MARRIED in the graveyard where we had our first date, so, in my eyes a graveyard can be a very romantic place. How about packing a romantic picnic and propose there? Lots of places do prepped foods, so you could finger foods, as there's nothing feeding each other is tres romantic. If you want more of a surprise effect, you could enlist the help of a friend to have the blanket and picnic set up - maybe some of your girlfriend's fav flowers waiting - so she has no idea that you were planning anything beyond going to the graveyard? -
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Re: Romantic Question....
Fri, September 28, 2007 - 1:27 PMThats what i had in mind actually, i LOVE feeding her, but have rarely gotten the chance to, i love her lips, she is SOO sensual. id like to have Jasmine around too, and wine and music under a full moon, with lots of beautiful old gravestones around. i think graveyards are the most romantic places around, and mayeb during autumn too, and i could surprise her with the ring while i have her blindfolded, and kiss her all over till she trembles. then spring the ring and the question when i take off the blindfold, optimally thats what id like to do, or something very similar. -
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Re: Romantic Question....
Fri, September 28, 2007 - 1:30 PMyou could always place the ring in her hand WHILE she is blindfolded -
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Re: Romantic Question....
Fri, September 28, 2007 - 4:39 PMhmm, nice touch, ill consider that. -
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Re: Romantic Question....
Sat, September 29, 2007 - 7:30 AMI think it's very romantic. Of course, I was married on Halloween with my husband dressed as Baron Samedi (the Haitian skull-faced "zombie baron," so there's that). Also, I was taken in your post by the fact that you said in your own words that you'd go "to the brink of hell for her." Think about the fact that a graveyard is, in Christian mythology, the brink of hell for many people. I have this very Buffy image of the hellmouth opening up, and all those souls who have not passed muster with ol' Smitey having to head on down. So really, by going to a graveyard, you are going to said brink. It's symbolic on many levels. There's also something really hot about sex in graveyards. Just sayin'.
(P.S. I am a redhead who tans easily. I have to stay vigilant about avoiding the dayball. It can be done! SPF 50 is your friend. And red hair is very goth. Just add some Manic Panic or Fudge to take it to a color not found in nature rather than the one god gave ya . . .) -
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Re: Romantic Question....
Sat, September 29, 2007 - 12:46 PMactually im a natural redhead, but i have Comanche blood too, so im the only redhead i know that tans instead of freckles, i get that red brown tan from my Comanche heritage and the red hair from the Irish-Scottish side. im a mutt, lol, what can i say. My Irish ancestors knew a hot COmanche babe when they saw one though , and speaking from experience ( My sweetie is Comanche and black) i can tell you they had good taste.
Makes it hard to find cool goth styles that fit the tannned red head though, doesnt work too well so far, ive found i look pretty good in flannel, and jeans, but i LOVE black clothes but the tan and red hair just doesnt do well for the whole goth look.ANd im not about to change my hair color, lol, i like it to much, just want to grow it out to the length it used to be, down my back. SIgh, military life can change my outside but never my inside. -
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Re: Romantic Question....
Fri, November 2, 2007 - 7:35 AMSo we gotta know.... Did you pop the question yet??? -
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Re: Romantic Question....
Fri, November 2, 2007 - 2:36 PMno not yet, legal issues have come a knockin and i have to clear up my past baggage before i can, in good conscience, propose. i have to be able to propose with no baggage adn few issues , and prefferably with no financial burdens. getting closer to fixing my life but i thought id be there by now.
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